I said I was going to be real on this blog. Lest you think I spend my days pondering the words of the Holy Spirit and sharing them with you (and laughing was heard from anyone who's been around my family). Here are some confessions of mine, in completely random order,
- I am a horrible housekeeper (and Jason just shouted "Amen!"). I hate cleaning and will usually find any other way to spend my time. Yet a cluttered and dirty house stresses me out. I need an intervention.
- I struggle many days with finding time to really read my Bible yet seem to find time to get on Facebook and watch Call the Midwife. I asked the Holy Spirit to be unrelenting on me with this and OUCH!. He definitely is and I am grateful for it.
- I have perfected the ability to tune out my children. This can be both a good and bad thing depending on the moment.
- I am completely uncomfortable walking inside a nursing home or hospital. I hate this about myself and hope that changes one day.
- When one of my children call out from their bed to remind me to pray with them, I sometimes thank God for them and other times cringe as I just got comfortable on the couch.
- I think McDonalds is completely disgusting yet still let me kids eat it sometimes.
- I spend way too much money on junk. The same junk that so often clutters up my home and stresses me out.
- I struggle with wanting to be in charge of our family and wanting Jason to lead us. Maybe if I just get out of the way...
- I am addicted to adoption fundraisers. If someone is adopting and needs money, I will give it. If they are selling a t-shirt (or whatever), I will buy it.
- I love my kids so much that it hurts sometimes and I struggle with why God has given them to a messed up sinner like me.
- People different than me make me uncomfortable sometimes. Another thing I hate about myself and I'm living proof that someone who lacks mercy can grow in it through Christ. He continues to stretch me and challenge me in this area and I am so grateful each time (though not usually at the beginning - when I'm digging in my heels and trying to find a reason not to step out).
- I once told God I would never be a foster parent. It is one of the hardest things I've ever done. No, I don't think God called me to it because I said I wouldn't. I think He was calling me to it before I ever said no. But there is a little girl messing up my house faster than I do that I cannot imagine my life without. I hate that she ever needed to be removed from her home. I hate that this is world is so broken that moms and dads don't know how to love and care for their babies. But oh am I glad God never stopped pushing us here.
- I would give you my kidney if you ever need it, whether I know you or not. The problem I have is in giving you my heart.
I'm sure there'll be more to come.
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