If:Equip

I've already posted about this wonderful site on my FB, but wanted to share again here.  Ladies, check out If:Equip.  It is a simple, straightforward way of getting into the Word together everyday.  Don't worry about starting at the beginning.  Jump in.  There is a Bible passage to read each day and a short (usually 2-4 minute) video each day.  It is blessing me to wake up to this each day.  It takes the stress out of knowing what to read or getting upset that I didn't finish my study for the day.

It's free.  All you need is access to the page, a pen, and a journal and your Bible though they post the passage each day.  Check it out and let me know if you do.

If you already have a Bible reading plan or don't struggle like I do about what to read each day, don't try to add this just to add another thing.  I've been there, adding every study placed before me, and it becomes overwhelming. Getting more Bible will never hurt you, but I never want to burden you with more "stuff" you need to do each day.  I always want to point you to Jesus and the freedom found in Him.  

Focus, Running, and a Lesson from a 6-year-old

I was fortunate to attend part of a great conference a few weeks ago and the main verses of teaching were from Hebrews 12.  Since then, I've thought often about what it really means to run the race laid out before us.  Am I standing on the sidelines not even in the race?  Am I stuck somewhere in the middle of the road?  Am I walking leisurely instead of running?  I think I've probably been in all of the places at one time.  What keeps us from really running this great race with God?  The answer is in the text,

Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we’d better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he’s there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls! Hebrews 12:1-2 (MSG)

I know I've been quoting from The Message often, but don't you love the picture this literally paints for us.  I can picture the "faithful" ones who are listed in the previous chapter cheering us on.  So, what DOES keep us from running?  Here it says "strip down" the "spiritual fat" and "parasitic sins."  Other versions says "lay aside every weight and sin."  I read this and I want to say, "I'm trying. I'm trying," but the next part is just as important.  We do this by focusing on Jesus and eternity.  It says "he (Jesus) never lost sight of where he was headed."  I lose sight often. I get distracted.  I have spiritual ADD (and Jason would say actual ADD - Squirrel! ;) ).  I let things steal my focus.

This morning I was talking with my 6 year old about his handwriting page.  Lately, one page has been taking him 45 minutes to one hour to complete.  I talked with him about focus and not getting distracted.  We talked about a goal of completing it in 15 minutes and that I knew he could do it if he stayed focused.  As I sat down and looked up at him with his eyes on the paper working hard, I felt the Holy Spirit nudging me, speaking to me, saying "See what's happening here. Learn from it." Caleb finished his handwriting in less than 15 minutes and he did it well.  All because he focused.  Why do I take my eyes off my Savior?  These verses have the answer to so many of my struggles.  Fix my eyes on my Jesus and I can run like He intended.

I think this might be my next journal.  Find it at Etsy here.

To All the List-Makers

Hi I'm Hope and I'm a list-a-holic.  I'm one list-loving girl.  I love checking things off.  So much so that I've been tempted many days to write at the top of my to-do list - "make to-do-list" just so I can check it off.  Am I nuts?  Probably so.  Though I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who has written down things I've already done so I can check them off and get that sense of accomplishment.  Do I have a problem?  Most definitely, but how else will the laundry get done and the dinners made and the kids taught.  It's scary up in this head of mine and scarier still I'm giving you a glimpse into it.

So, does God make list-loving people?  Apparently so.  But those of us who love lists and checking things off are the same ones who tend to sway towards legalism, rule-making, and having trouble letting go of control. The lists give us a sense of control of any given circumstance or situation.  List-makers is probably just a nice way of saying we are indeed control-freaks. I'm just putting it out there.

Us list-lovers sometimes struggle with seeing the big picture.  We see the details.  We can control and perfect the details or at least we are under the delusion that we can.   We are also the ones who often have the gift of administration.  Anyone else struggle with seeing this as a gift?  I want one of the exciting spiritual gifts like evangelism or prophecy.  Doesn't being a prophet sound so exciting?  Jeremiah would probably say otherwise.  He probably longed for a more "behind-the-scenes" gift.  I've wrestled with God trying to convince Him that administration is a boring gift and I'm ready for more.  I want something flashy and world-changing.  Pride is something else us "listers" fight or maybe it's just me.

As I am becoming more comfortable with who I am and trusting that God designed me this way for a reason, I'm realizing He has given me this brain for a purpose.  As I stop trying to figure out everything and give away control, I'm learning that it's not such a boring gift after all.  When I set myself aside and allow God to really use me, it's thrilling.  When we follow Him, it's an adventure.  Not one where we can control the details or the ending.  We trust that ultimately He is in control.  We are not.  We remind ourselves that He has purposed us for good (Jeremiah 29:11, Romans 8:28).  So, we drop the safety net and take a scary step away from ourselves and towards Him.  And tomorrow when we try to pick back up everything we surrendered the day before we stop ourselves and take another scary step.  And before long the steps become less scary and our delusion of control starts to fade away.

See I've lived too long doing pretty much the opposite.  Instead of allowing God to direct the lists, I've made them and then said "okay, here's what I'm doing today, be in it, God."  Or another day the conviction to surrender takes over and I end up on my face before God giving it all over to Him.  Only the next day, I go right back to my old ways.  This is the frustrating dance that has been my life.  And I realize that I'm stuck in a place I was never created to be in.

There is so much freedom in realizing God created you and has a purpose for you.  If He has given you the gift to organize and see the details, use it for Him.  Lists can be a good things.  They can help us focus and get things done.  Ministries wouldn't happen with out us list-makers.  Those big picture people need us.  We work alongside one another and when we do, things happen.

We just need to be careful.  Our lists (whether they are literally on paper or just in our minds) give us a false sense of control and we keep making them because of it.  We have to learn to let go.  Freedom is found when we do.  Galatians 5:1 says It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Yet, we enslave ourselves in our own desire for control.  I used to say "need for control" but that is false.  We don't need it.  We want it.  We even crave it at times.  It's an addiction.

So, how do you let go? I cannot answer that for you.  I know for me it's been a back-and-forth, but every step, no matter how large or small or easy or painful, has been worth it.  Freedom is worth it.  He is worth it.  He wants to use you the way He made you.  God does change lives.  He changes hearts and minds all the time.  That doesn't mean He's going to change the very way your brain is wired, though He may.  He created you to be you.  He has great plans for you.  I cannot tell you the freedom that is found in being me and letting Him be Him so that I can be used for His glory and His purposes.  

Does this mean I no longer make lists?  No.  I did take a purposeful break from them.  I still love lists.  I just pray and hope each day that they are His lists and not mine.  The laundry still makes it on there most days, but somehow it still gets done even when there is no list.  I know it's crazy, but it's true.  Otherwise there would be 4 naked children running around this area and nobody wants that. 

I'd end by telling you to seek freedom, but you don't have to seek it.  It's there.  It's found in Christ.  When you truly start becoming all about Him, the chains begin to fall.  We just have to stop putting them back on.  Let the top of your list be Jesus.

Talk to Him

 image courtesy of davidniblack.com

                                                                                 
If we are going to be about Jesus, how do we do it?  If you've been in church very long, you know the answers to most of the questions.  You wave your hands when the teacher asks the questions (literally or in your head), because the answer is almost always one of two things right?  1. Jesus (that's always a good answer - seriously, it is) and 2. Pray and read my Bible. We say or hear it so often, it starts to lose meaning.  Not because there isn't power in prayer and Bible study, but because we start to glaze over it.  When you've been in church a long time like me, it's so very easy to know the answers without actually doing any of it.  Or is it just me?

If we are going to be about Him, we've got to know Him.  I don't mean know about Him.  You can know the entire Bible and never know Him if your motives are in the wrong place.  Again, I'm speaking from experience.  God's really been breaking me over this very thing and I have more to say about spending time in His Word, but that's not what this post is about.

I feel the need to share about prayer and what God's showing me.  What is prayer?  Again, we church-goers know the pat answer: talking to God.  Is it really that simple?  Have we made it something harder?  Is there more to it?  I think there is one person in the Bible who can teach us so much about prayer.  You think I'm going to say Jesus, right? That would be a seriously good answer, but not this time.  I'm talking about David.  The guy who is called "a man after God's own heart."  Take a walk through the Psalms of David and we get a portrait of David pouring his heart out to God.  Have you ever read one of David's Psalms and thought "hey, he can't talk to God that way!"  Yet, he did and not only that, his cry made it into our Bible for God's people to continue to read and learn from for thousands of years.  I think it's because God wanted us to see that He desires us to talk to Him.  To get real with Him.  To lay bare before Him.  To praise Him.  To acknowledge His ways.  To pour our complaints out to Him.  To just be us and let Him be Him.

Psalms shows us that we can talk to God about anything and everything.  The intimacy between God and David leaps off our pages.  It's not because David was better or more loved, but because David was real and he never stops talking to his Father.  Some of the Psalms are full of praise and awe of our Creator.  Some are words of gratitude penned by an humble servant.  Others are full of anger and confusion wondering where is God.  Those are the ones where David almost seems disrespectful.  And maybe he is at times, but obviously God can handle it.

I struggle with prayer.  These days it doesn't come natural to me.  It hasn't always been this way.  There was a time in my life where I talked to God continuously and easily.  He was truly my Friend and my Savior.  What happened?  God hasn't changed, so why did I?  First of all, this time of intimacy was when I was 19. I was single.  I had no kids.  I was blessed with a job where I could literally read my Bible for hours while only stopping to answer the phone every once in awhile.  I told God about everything: my dreams, my struggles, my complaints, my love for Him, all of it.  To be honest, it was easy.  The sad part is that it stopped the second it got hard.  I switched jobs to a fast-paced, no break environment.  I was in college.  I got married. I got too busy for my relationship with God.  My desire has always been about Him and His will for me, but busyness and distraction took over and I justified that it was a season of my life. Then, I had kids.  Oh, those cute, little blessings and distractions I've been given.  Another season.  Another excuse. (Moms of little ones, please hear me, there is grace and lots of it. Don't be burdened.  Learn from me though and give Him what you can.  He is worth it even if it's only a few minutes here and there. You are worth it.)

Then, I woke up one day and realized that I rarely prayed.  I wasn't even really comfortable doing so anymore.  Me, the fixer and planner, went out and bought way too many books about prayer and dove in.  I was going to be "good" at this prayer thing.  I was going to figure it out.  As I started down this path, I started worrying more about doing it right than just talking with my Father.  I'm so grateful for the disciple who asked Jesus how should we pray.  Jesus answers with what we call the Lord's Prayer, or sometimes the Model Prayer.  We can learn so much from it, but what happens when you become so wrapped up in following that awesome model?  For me, two things happened,

1. My prayer life was still hit-and-miss at best.  If I couldn't do it "right", I wasn't doing it all.
and,
2. It became a facade.  I became more concerned with what words I was saying than with sharing my heart.

God wants your heart.  He doesn't care about you using the right words. Jesus warned about repetitious words.  They become empty and prideful.  Do not get me wrong here.  We should come to God with reverence and ideally that means coming to Him out of a place of praise.  We should be concerned about our attitude and mindset when coming to Him.  Our prayers should not be filled with selfishness of "I need this" and "I want that." I'm not downplaying His holiness.  He is holy.  We are not.

But stop worrying about doing it right and just talk to Him. The more you do, the more your attitude will align with His.  The more natural it will become.  I'm living proof.  Praying is becoming easier again.  Not because I have more time.  I don't.  Not because I've figured it out.  I haven't.  Because I'm talking to Him again, my Friend, my Redeemer.

Let's learn from David.  If you have no idea where to start, open up your Bible and read Psalms (they are right in the middle if you don't know where to find them). Cry out to your Father.  Lay bare before Him.  Give Him everything you have. He's big enough for all your words, no matter if they are out of confusion or anger or praise.  He wants all of you!  Remember, He calls you friend.

Talk to Him.

Let's Be About Jesus

My first blog post back may be a bit of a soapbox rant, but there is something going on in the church today that is making me sick and worn out.  I am guilty of it so know my fingers are pointing right back at me, but this thing has to stop.  The church (and I'm talking the people, not a specific building or denomination) has to stop being known for what it's against. The world knows we are against the "BIG" sins as we like to categorize them, as if labeling them somehow makes someone else's sins worse than our own.  We can stop screaming it, arguing about it, and posting it on Facebook.  Honestly, if I hear one more argument about the difference between choosing a lifestyle of sin versus a Christian struggling with sin, I might just scream. Sin is sin and Jesus died for all of it.  If He didn't, then I'm certain I didn't make the cut. Last time I checked Romans says we are all sinners and Ephesians tells us we were all once an enemy of God (yes, an enemy - let that sink in for a minute).  Yes, we are called to speak truth in love but if we are only known for what we are are against, we will never get that opportunity.

Let's instead be LOUD about what we are for.  Let's be for people.  Let's be for justice.  Let's be for grace.  Let's be for freedom. In The Message, Galatians 5 says (emphasis mine),

But what happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.

Legalism is helpless in bringing this about; it only gets in the way. Among those who belong to Christ, everything connected with getting our own way and mindlessly responding to what everyone else calls necessities is killed off for good—crucified.

Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives. That means we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original.

I've witnessed something miraculous happen when people let go of legalism and pointing out the wrongs of this world. We stop seeing the sin and we start seeing the person.  Fear goes away, or at least lessens. Walls begin to fall.  We are no longer scared to embrace someone different from us or someone who is struggling with something we don't understand.  We aren't worried our children might "catch" something (like you can catch sin) by being exposed to certain people.  We stop hanging out in our "Christian" huddles and start getting out into this world like Christ called us to do.  We stop worrying about being right or safe.  We start being the hands and feet of Jesus.

Before you start spouting the word discernment, I'm not telling you to march yourself or your child into a strip club (though God may call you to that very thing and I can tell you about an awesome ministry called Jesus Said Love - just one example of people loving people).  But please stop using discernment as an excuse.

Remember if we are only known for what we are against, we are Pharisees.  From my studies of the gospel, Jesus' anger is always aimed at those guys.  Why?  Because they were missing it.  They were missing Him.  And they were helping others do the same.  My biggest fear in this life is to spend all my time doing "good" and completely miss Jesus.  And even worse, I teach my children to do the same.  God's been messing me up, can you tell?

Let's be about love instead of law. Let's be about Jesus.

Be warned - So much I want to say

I used to love to blog and write and share my thoughts and what was going on in our lives.  But it became about me and a false image.  Unintentionally, my past blog became about putting forth a put together family who loves each other and Jesus.  Well, we do love each other (though don't always feel it and I've heard "I hate you" more times than I would like) and we do love Jesus, but we are far from "put-together" and far from perfect.  I was convicted about this image I was putting out there.  Not that I need to share all my junk with you but at least be open that there is junk and lots of it.  I was also often writing from a place of pride.  So, I shut up.  I've been quiet.

Well, not anymore.  I don't know how often I will post, but I feel like God has given me some things to share.  Out of humility may my words be used.  You've been warned.  It may get loud up in here.

Books to Read for 2014

I just went to look and see when the last time we wrote on this blog was and it's been almost 2 years.  That is crazy!  Why am blogging now after 2 years?  I think it will give me some accountability.  I'm not thinking anyone will still be checking this blog, but just putting a goal out here for anyone to possibly read makes me more likely to stick with it.

I don't have any big resolutions this year.  Last year, I made a list of books I'd like to read, but I didn't really stick with it.  This year, I went through my Kindle and realized how many books I have on there that I've never read.  I have downloaded lots of great books when they were either free or discounted with every intention to read them.  But I have a problem. I have ADD when it comes to books.  I love to read and read often, but I often buy a book only to get distracted by another book.  I have picked a mix of non-fiction (mostly Christian Living), biographies, and, I think, one fiction. Without further rambling, here are the 20 books (in addition to my Bible) I plan to read in 2014.   I'm sure I'll add others at some point, but I'm looking forward to reading these.

1. When Sinners Say "I Do" - Dave Harvey
2. Chasing God - Angie Smith
3. Restless - Jennie Allen
4. Love Does - Bob Goff
5. Give Them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus - Elyse M. Fitzpatrick & Jessica Thompson
6. Deliver Us from Me-Ville - David Zimmerman
7. Everything  - Mary Demuth
8. The Missional Mom - Helen Lee
9. Bonhoeffer - Eric Metaxas
10. Indescribable - Louie Giglio 
11. Grace - Max Lucado
12. Undaunted - Josh McDowell
13. Happily Ever After  - Gary Chapman
14. What Women Fear - Angie Smith
15. Raising a Modern Day Joseph - Larry Fowler
16. Courageous - Randy Alcorn
17. Praying God's Word - Beth Moore
18. Who Do You Think You Are - Mark Driscoll
19. The Vow - Kim & Krickitt Carpenter
20. Transforming Grace - Jerry Bridges
21. Being OK with Who You Are - Stacey Thacker
22. A Year of Biblical Womanhood - Rachel Held Evans