Commitment

The agony I endured that day has become the stuff of family legend.  A young, head-over-heels in love kid...had decided to ask a man for his daughter's hand in marriage...a large man for his daughter's hand in marriage.

I thought through a hundred different ways to ask, but just kind of blurted out one Sunday morning...something along the lines of "Ed, I'd like to talk to you about my intentions towards your daughter."  And with the escape of that eloquent sentence, He rose from his seat, called out to his wife and left without saying a word.

He was having a bit of fun!  I, on the other hand, was dying a slow death.  It wasn't until after church that day that he (at the prompting of my now mother-in-law) finally said, "how about you and I take a walk."

As we walked outside that day I felt more nervous than any big game I had ever played in.  Here I was walking alone with a very large man...and I was asking for his daughter's hand in marriage.  When he began to question me...I found it difficult to muster up the words to speak.  It was only one question, but to this day I remember the turmoil I felt as I tried my best to answer it.

Here's my best recollection of how things went down that day:

LM (Large man)  - "There's one thing that makes a marriage work.  Do you know what that is?"

ENK (Extremely Nervous Kid - Me) -  "Umm....ugh..." - with a puzzled look on my face.

LM - "It's one word"

ENK - Silent.  Was he wanting me to say a word?  What's a word.  It's one of those things made up of consonants and vowels, right? Oh...yeah..I've got it.  "Love!"  Right?  Love is the answer.  Love is all you need (thanks John)!

LM - Before the "o" in love makes it off of my lips..."Don't you say love!  Love comes and goes.  It changes constantly.  It's important, but it's not enough!"

"I'm looking for another word.  It starts with a letter C."

ENK - A letter C?  What is this Scrabble?  Wow, I should have paid more attention in school. "Umm..." Now at this point I have to be honest...I think I had a bit of an outer-body experience.  There was profuse sweating, an intense desire to see my lunch again, and for some reason I wanted to fall down into the fetal position and start sucking my thumb.

I think I managed to say "Christ?" I mean I paid attention in Sunday school that morning.

It was then, with a firm hand on my shoulder that my father-in-law to be taught me one of the most important Bible lessons of my life.

"The word is commitment my Son.  The word I'm looking for is commitment.  At some point in every marriage...the love fades...one ore both of you wants to give up...you feel like walking away.  But marriage is a commitment to the other person and to God."

The profuse sweating began to subside immediately, but the profound lesson lives on strong...nearly 17 years later.

Commitment.  Being faithful and determined to love and to stay together...even when my heart lies to me and tells me otherwise.  Commitment.  Staying the course in good times and bad....sickness and health.  Commitment.  Being a man of your word and staying the course with resolve much greater than anything man can muster.  Commitment.  Learning to love serving someone and seeing it as one of God's greatest blessings in life.  Commitment.  Sweet death that never says "good by" but gently whispers with a kiss on the forehead...."my love...my best friend...I WILL see you soon!"

That's the lesson I learned that day...and every day since.  God is faithful.  Even when we are not.  He is. (2 Tim. 2:13)  He is steadfast in His commitment towards me.  He loves me with purpose.  He loves me for the long-haul.  It's one of the greatest truths of the gospel.  A God that is committed...a God that is all in for all time.  And it's because of His love...I choose to do the same!

How is my marriage?  A lot like my relationship with God.  There are struggles...usually attributed to me not spending the time I need to on our relationship.  But...the gospel IS being lived out here!  In the deepest parts of who God has created me to be I find resolve to be faithful because God has been so faithful to me!

To this day... "the walk" (as I now infamously call it) stands as one of the greatest Bible lessons I've ever learned.  And as we now "walk" through this crazy adventure called life, with all of it's highs and lows,  I remain steadfast...overwhelmed...filled with love...and most of all...committed.  Committed to God...and committed to my beautiful wife and best friend!

One word with profound impact.  One word that I'm still learning about and learning from today.  I hope and pray you will too!