Why is Asking for Prayer Difficult?

Have you noticed that during "prayer request" time in your small group, Sunday School class, Bible study, or wherever that we rarely ask for prayers for ourselves?  Sure, we hear "please pray for us as we travel this week" or "pray that my surgery goes well on Thursday" or "pray for my job interview this week."  But rarely is there open, transparent requests for prayers for ourselves.  It seems that most prayer requests are for things like Aunt Jane's cancer or a coworker's child or a friend who was in a car wreck. While there isn't anything necessarily wrong with these requests, they tend to be impersonal and can even keep us from getting too real.

Why is asking for prayer for our own struggles so hard?  When I examine my own heart, I think there are a few reasons.  One, I don't want to be or, more likely, appear selfish.  Two, my problems aren't as "bad" as these others so I don't want to waste anyone's time.  Or probably at the root of it all, I don't want to be too vulnerable.  I can be open about so much.  I have a husband who is pretty much an open book to our entire congregation.  Being married to him lends to few secrets in our family.  It used to really bother me, but I've grown to appreciate it (most of the time ;) ).  Even still, I don't want to be vulnerable.  I don't want to NEED people or be a burden to anyone.

The only problem is that we all keep answering "I'm fine" when all the while so often, we are not.  I keep thinking what if our small groups (whatever they look like) become our safe groups.  What if "I'm fine" is no longer an acceptable answer in these groups?

Don't me wrong.  There are times when things are really good.  But instead, let's share them, praise God for them together.  And when things are just not, let's share those as well and hold each other up, encourage one another, truly live this hard life together.  Not in a spirit of complaint and there needs to be guarding against that, but in an effort to drop the masks and the walls.  We all need people.  God does not require us to walk through this life alone.  He is enough for us, but He also understands our struggles and gives us church families, friends, spouses, and more to lean on.  Oh, isn't He good?

This past week in our Sunday School class, I prepared myself to share some health struggles that I've only been partly open about it and felt God urging me to share.  When our teacher said we are not going to do prayer requests this week, I relieved a sigh of relief.  I could keep it all in for at least another week.  I could talk myself out of it before next Sunday rolls around.  I mean the pastor's wife should never even consider the possibility of being a burden when there is so much hurting going on all around, right? These are the arguments I have in my head.

The truth is though that pretending like it's all okay and making jokes about my health issues, so I don't to worry anyone, is wearing me out.  Don't worry I'm not dying (at least not from any of my current issues ;) ).  Some of my autoimmune issues are flaring and I've added a new one to the mix.  I have unexplained weight loss that is so far baffling my doctor.  I've struggled with anxiety off and on this past year.  Some days I feel fine and other days I'm exhausted for no apparent reason.  I am so very blessed with a husband who is most always patient with me, but  I don't think it's fair to him that I won't ask for prayers.

I am confident that God holds my health in hands and grateful that it's not worse.  I know this is not my future.  I pray that God uses all of this for His glory yet I'm realizing that if I walk around keeping up appearances, I may be not allowing Him to do just that.  This morning I read in Galatians  4 where Paul shares, "As you know, it was because of an illness that I first preached the gospel to you."  Oh, let that be true of me someday.

So, I ask you, that next time you meet with your "safe group", be real, be honest, share the good and difficult.  C'mon,  I don't want to be the only one getting real.

Seriously, no worries about me. SERIOUSLY. God says do not worry.  God knew I'd be here struggling in this very moment.  He has plans for me and He has plans for you.  If you feel led to pray for me, pray that He would use all this.  Pray that I would ask for help when I need it.  Pray for my marriage and my family as we continue to try and figure this all out.  Pray for my husband who is having to do way more than his fair share some of these days.  Pray that most of all in whatever I do or say, I can do it all for the glory of God.

I pray that everyone reading this has a safe place to be real and that you stop carrying your burdens alone.  God never intended us to be worn out simply from keeping things in.  He knows this life is hard.  He knows we have struggles, health issues, financial woes, and so much more.  I believe He gives us people in our lives for a reason. And that reason is not to make us more tired.

Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. James 5:14-16

Two are better than one,
    because they have a good return for their labor:
10 If either of them falls down,
    one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
    and has no one to help them up.
11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
    But how can one keep warm alone?
12 Though one may be overpowered,
    two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12